How to fix the MBTA

One overlooked benefit of waiting 40 minutes in high winds and incredibly cold temperatures for a bus that’s scheduled to run every 10 (66 riders represent!), aside from the chance to get rid of those rarely used extremeties, is that it’s a golden opportunity to do some thinking.

The chief obstacle to most proposals to reform the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority is that they cost money. And none of that BitCoin stuff either. We need cold, hard cash. Other obstacles include people who want “Roadrunner” to be the Commonwealth’s official rock song, the ongoing Whole Foods shortage and the fact that our infrastructure is going to be tied up for the next few years because of the Dunkin’ Donuts pipeline.

How much money? A few years ago I was told $3 billion, but this year The Globe published a new estimate: at least $6.7 billion.

Think about that number. According to Second Avenue Sagas, that would almost pay for a New York New Jersey Port Authority bus terminal. It’s real money!

Unfortunately, Gov. Charles Baker won’t raise taxes, the voters rejected tying the gas tax to the rate of inflation and the feds don’t even want to pay for road repair, which makes finding a source for this money a challenge.

The good news is that I have a solution. You see, as my brain shut down from the blood freezing in my veins and arteries,.my life flashed before my eyes and I recalled being home sick from school as a child, watching bad daytime television. There was a man with some commercials who I think can be the hero we need, even if he isn’t the hero we deserve.

It’s not Batman, although he does dress like The Riddler: Matthew Lesko.

$350 billion a year in 1998! $7 billion is a drop in a hat. The government won’t even miss it.

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